One thing my grandmother use to say was “when you laugh the world laughs with you, but when you cry the world laughs at you”. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel to me and people that once loved me act like they don’t have a care for me in the world. I just can’t turn feelings on and off I’m not cold. Maybe I need to be colder hearted to fit in this world, full of all this confusion and heart break.
People don’t appreciate the type of person that I try to be. They take me for granted and think that I will always be there to fall back on. I won’t because I’m to hurt. I can’t keep helping people above helping myself. I need to just start putting myself first and not care about any one or anything because caring is showing weakness. Maybe if I was a boy I could understand, but I just can’t from where I stand.
Every time I let my guard down for a person they fail. Is it just me? Am I incapable of being happy? Is there no one there for me? That’s what it’s starting to feel like. I have to just not have it all there. I guess I’m looking for things in people that just aren’t there.
2 comments:
Sorry, I'm a newly born blogger junky. I always feel a little like a Peeping Tom when I read other's blogs, but I learn a ton. So thanks for helping me remember my Mom who died this year with the Temptations video (Valentine's Day).
Also, I know why I treated someone special to me many years ago the same way you were treated. I just felt so rejected by her because she wouldn't be my exclusive girl after I dated her for awhile, and the only way I could cope was to basically eliminate her from my life. She freaked out when I reacted this way to her. I was pretty young and immature. So it might not be that the person who seems cold to you is really that cold, but maybe that person cares for you so much that it is too nerve racking to be around you now.
I'm a returning blogger. I know the feeling but sometimes reading into others life's can help one get insight of their own.
It feels terrible when you love someone and they don't return the feeling. I never looked at it that way, your right we all love in different ways.
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